Part of me takes great pleasure in being a smart ass. I enjoy being ‘in the know’ and therefore I love to flex my observational acumen on a variety of stupid human behavior. For instance, on my personal Facebook account I run a weekly posting series called “Asshole Parking. Yes, you guessed it, it’s about how people park like assholes. I love pointing out these things like I am a superior human being, but I realize sometimes these are things we all do from time to time. That’s what makes it funny.
Now I segue into what is supposed to be sarcastic humor. I hope no one that I truly care about takes offense to what I am about to talk about.
In the town from whence I came there was a Chinese Buffet that had a wall of shame. On it, prominently displayed for returning and new customers alike, was every bounced check ever written to the restaurant. I used to read them and feel the burn. I also thought it was kinda shitty.
When I opened my own business the ‘wall of shame’ became enticing to me. It is a beacon unto my fellow cohort in phone sex if I make one. What would be included on said wall of shame? All of you assholes who think you’re smarter than a phone sex slut. You really aren’t.
While I don’t have to worry about bounced checks I do have a whole other set of worries that accompany this sort of business. One of those worries, aside from being low-balled and undercut by some unscrupulous competitor, is the very large group of customers who I label as asshats or douchebags. You take your pick. I have two stories for your amusement. Unlike the Chinese Buffet in my small hometown, I’m changing the names.
John Fuckstain is an asshat from the West Coast. His favorite past time is to tell every single girl he talks to that he is addicted to them. He promises tips. Gifts. Votes on phone sex central. Know what we get in exchange?
Ever had a nasty pimple? That’s what the lady who falls for John Fuckstain’s festering line of crap gets when we bite on his promises. Just when one of us lovely ladies lances the boil, he goes on to another site to do the same thing.
Well John Fuckstain visited onto me a shit storm when he accused me of double charging his credit card. I did not, proved it repeatedly yet he still tried to scam me out of the money he did owe. He dialed and emailed incessantly burning up any money I made off of his pithy 20 min call on him by being a complete douche bag. I don’t think John Fuckstain is necessarily dumb, I think John Fuckstain knows EXACTLY what he is doing. I think this asshat knows how much he sucks and is getting off on it. Well John Fuckstain, one word for you:
Douche Bag number 2–the alcoholic who wanted to help me guy who told another operator that I hated her (while swearing his eternal devotion to me, his only true love in phone sex land). This one is a good one and particularly juicy because I don’t hate anyone. Especially if I don’t know them. I will cop to curiosity of how people run their business (as an aside I recently discovered someone trying to copy my web design), even to wondering about the person in general. This is a cut throat industry. I happen to know that every guy I’ve talked to has likely talked to a girl in the top ten on PSC. That’s common sense.
But what isn’t so cool, douche bag, is trying to stir up shit between the girls. I know you might think it gives you some sort of power, but you’re actually worse than the pimple we get from John Fuckstain. You are the reason that us girls don’t trust each other and for that YOU SUCK.
Now don’t get me wrong, there are some women out there who shouldn’t own companies, but that’s not for me to judge. I don’t want to be involved in anything that reaks of stealing, copying or cutting down my competition. At least to me, if this stops being fun it’s not worth it.
That’s why I am extremely blessed to say I have a hand full of guys who aren’t like the above two people. What I have learned is some compassion for my fellows in phone sex land. I have met a couple since I opened and I am glad to know them.
So here is a blanket statement–directly from me–about what I will an will not tolerate (and what you cannot buy from me).
If you create stress, drama or unnecessary work for me I am not wanting your business. I am here to create joy for my clients. I get full when I put a smile on their faces. I sincerely enjoy this work and I don’t feel that I HAVE to take money from anyone. So you can’t buy me out on the basis that I’m some poor phone hooker who needs the cash so badly that I’ll tolerate a drain of my spiritual and psychic energy. What really saddens me is that, just like in all areas of life, you have a select few who are really hurting souls. They can’t help their asshat and douchebag status. They just want to feel important and this is how they do it. My advice to you is get some counseling and let us hard working ladies alone!
They do it by stirring up trouble between companies because they think we don’t talk, they take advantage of the fact that we can sometimes get competitive and jealous–then they use it to their advantage and eventually doing business with them becomes not only a financial loss, but a spiritual loss as well.
While I may not be grossing thousands over here I am laying my head down at night knowing I have a clean company. I don’t take advantage and now I am making a statement about guys who want to talk shit about the competition to make some major inroad with me–don’t try to stir up shit with me. It doesn’t work. Keep it clean, keep it fun and keep it real!
That Wall of Shame is mighty enticing, but I think I’ll probably need to meet a few more asshats and douche bags before I am compelled to make one.
Peace out. Oh, vote for me. If anything it will ensure that I stay in the top ten and have a good reason to write a blog like this in the first place.